Do you have 2 hands?

On tonight's edition of "Conversations with Callers:"
Me: I'm going to tell you how to check your pulse, Find the Adams apple on your neck, feel on either side of it for a pulse.... {Caller interrupts}
C: I can't, cause I'm holding the phone.
Me: Do you have 2 hands? 
{Caller is "uhm-ing" and sounding confused}
Me: OK.... One hand is holding the phone, take your other hand and put it on your neck. Find the Adam's apple. (Repeat instructions.)
---- Later during the same call ----
Me: I want you to unlock the door, and turn on the outside lights.
C: Oh, it ain't nothing like that, I'm just sittin' here waiting on the "amboo-lince"
Me: Do you want them to find you quickly?
C: Why? I'm just waitin'
Me: Turn on the lights so they know which house is yours, Unlock the door so they can get into your house to help you.