Da Inn

Me: How many weeks pregnant is she?
C: She at da inn. (The call may be at a hotel, or he may be trying to communicate "the end.")
Me: (after repeating the above transaction again.) Sir, there are 9 months in a pregnancy. How far along is she?
C: I think she almost done. {Pt can be heard in the background saying, "i don't know.)
---- After a few instructions, pt is pushing, and has been for a few minutes.
Me: Tell her to push hard.
C: Push!!!
Patient in the background: I AM!!
C: You ain't doing sh*t!
Me: {Stifling laughter} You might not want to say that to the woman having your baby.